Forgiveness Read online

  Forgiveness

  Orla Monet

  Forgiveness

  Hammond Publications

  2020

  Copyright

  All rights reserved. This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in any form, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise – without prior written permission of the publisher, except as provided by United Kingdom copyright law.

  First Edition

  This book is a work of fiction. This novel’s story and main characters are fictitious. References to real people, events, establishments, organisations, or locales are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity and are used fictitiously. All characters, incidents and dialogue, are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be constructed as real.

  Forgiveness

  You often left the city without telling me. It wasn’t unusual when you did. Every time I swore to the high heavens that I was finished with you and your antics. I knew you weren’t the most open man, but I thought that maybe you would have the decency to keep me informed in what was going on in your life. Afterall, I was in your life, and when I was with you, you made me feel like I was a big part of it.

  It was four days later when I heard you returned. You were probably too preoccupied with work to bother to tell me yourself. I didn’t want to care that you were back. You never bothered to think of me, so why should I think of you.

  I didn’t want to care. But I did. No matter how insignificant you treated me 90% of the time, the 10% you did spend with me were the greatest times of my life. I had never felt as special as I did when I was wrapped in your arms.

  I though to give you the benefit of the doubt; maybe it was some urgent business. I waited all day for you to find me, to give me an explanation. I waited and waited, and you never came.

  I was gone with waiting.

  I marched to where I knew you would be. It did nothing to wane my anger, or my feelings of hurt. If anything, my emotions increased along the journey.

  I paused outside of your door, trying to collect my thoughts so as not to forget any of the reasons I hated you. With my head held high, I pounded upon the door confidently, loudly.

  A few minutes passed until I heard your tell-tale footprints descending the stairs. You were smiling when you opened the door. There was the innate knowing that it would be me behind the frame. Though the smile fell quickly from your lips as I shoved past you, knocking you as I did; the entire time I didn’t glance in your direction.

  I made my way into your living area. I became awash with nerves, no longer sure that I should be provoking or aggravating you, for you could be a feared lion.

  Then, you cleared your throat in annoyance of me.

  “Have you not got anything to say?” I said, trying to hold conviction within my voice, though towards the end of my sentence, my words cracked.

  In your brief silence, your hesitation, I turned to look at you. I became shocked, hurt, as I watched you delve inside of your jacket pockets to look for your cigarettes. You nonchalantly inhaled and exhaled the smoke, like you had all the time in the world. It was like I meant nothing to you.

  “You were gone for four days? Did it not occur to you that I would care to know where you were going?” The words hurled out of my mouth, emotions gripped to me, getting the better of me entirely. “What were you doing?”

  “It was business and that is none of your concern,” you replied in a bored and laboured tone.

  You took an inhale from your cigarette as my eyes raked your body. The smoke slowly carried itself from your mouth. Your stupid, beautiful and irritating mouth.

  “Not my concern,” I finally scoffed in disbelief. “Yes, well… what exactly can I be concerned about? I’m not allowed to know where you are half the time, not allowed to know who you do business with. I can’t know what your business is even involved with! I can’t know when you’ll be around, if you’ll be around. It seems like the only time I’m allowed to be concerned about anything you fucking do, is when you want something warm to stick your cock into! Do you want a wrote? If so, you can find somebody else.”

  I screamed out the words at you, surprised that despite the broken feeling inside of my chest, my voice was still strong and clear.

  “What the fuck did you just say?” You whispered back menacingly, finally making eye contact with me from across the room. “This is who I am! You knew that when me got with me. My business is my business, not yours. Coming here demanding what- that I tell me everything? Kicking off at me for BEING WHO YOU KNEW I WAS! You think I haven’t got enough on?! Eh? Is that it? You think I haven’t got enough on?! You think I have the time to deal with all this? If you want a fight, pick it with someone else, because I don’t have the time for your childish games.”

  “Well don’t worry, there’s no need to deal with this anymore,” I replied, emphasising the space between the two of us with the wave of my hand.

  Your eyes held onto me as you slowly registered the meaning of my words. I watched your pupils darken with something that was different than anger. Yet it was undetectable to me.

  “Oh what?” You countered, your words and eyes as hard as ice, “are you going to walk out that door?”

  “Yeah, I’m going to leave,” I bit back, trying to hold on to my aggression even with your intimidating glare.

  “You are not walking out of that fucking door.”

  Your voice was a warning. Calm yet threatening. The aggression that was laced in your tone was tantalizing. It sent shivers racing down my spine, to between the heating core between my legs.

  “Are you going to stop me?” I scoffed out with a laugh. My eyes testing you entirely.

  “Oh, I don’t need to stop you princess. You’re not walking out that door.”

  The way in which you spoke was detached from any form of emotion. Your voice was as placid as ever. Your face clear of any discerning expression. You kept your eyes on me as you fished out another cigarette, lighting it and inhaling it twice before you made any further move.

  You held me there, frozen, as I waited for what was coming next. Knowing from the clench in your jaw, and the way you were fiddling with your cigarette that it would be a long night.

  You began to make your way over to me, walking slowly with the purpose to put me on edge. Which you ultimately succeeded at.

  “No,” you said with a laugh. “You didn’t need to come here tonight, but here we are. You wanted to come, and I think I know the reason your wanted to. Tell me, why did you come here tonight.”

  Being in such close proximity to you was paralyzing for my body. Your scent overwhelming every one of my senses. Your steady breath fanned over my face. It caused my mind to become hazy. I tried to remember why and how I had ever been mad at you as your eyes seemed to try to banish any rational thought from my mind.

  “I didn’t come here to tell you anything else than ‘fuck you’,” I said daringly, keeping my voice firm, my chin high as I looked you square in the eye.

  “Fuck you eh? You could have just asked sweetheart. I would have been happy to oblige.”

  Your lips quirked into a smile. A stupid and beautiful smile. I wanted to scream just looking at you.

  “That’s not what I meant. God, I mean, you don’t ever listen to me!”

  “Oh, I’m listening sweetheart. And you know? You almost had me. I almost believed you—coming in here, guns blazing, screaming at me, for what? Not giving you enough…attention? That’s what you need right? Do you need daddy to give his princess some more attention?”

  “Fuck me,” I spat out.

  The tone in my voice may have implied one thing, but the way that I arched my back back into you as you br
ought your face down to mine said another. You kissed me with a hunger that could never be quenched. Your mouth devoured my every exhale; your air was the only one I could breathe. When you pulled away, you left me gasping, fighting against my own lungs. But I was desperate for more of you.

  I watched in confusion as you took a small step away from me, your hands finding your cigarettes in your pockets and fishing another one out. You watched me under squinted eyes as you lit up and sucked back on the stick, purposely making me squirm underneath the intensity of your gaze. I could hear the embers of your cigarette burn with each inhale that you took, the smoke billowing out and fogging my vision along with my other senses.

  “Oh, how you frustrate me princess,” you began, sucking in your teeth as you spoke. Your lips quirking back into that infamous small smirk of yours. A hint of a chuckle escaped past your throat. “I am a reasonable man. And I want to make sure that you are satisfied… that your needs are well-taken care of. I have treated you well, and yet, despite this, you flip me off - you disrespected me. Am I just supposed to give you what you want? Reward this poor behaviour you’ve exhibited this evening?”

  I knew you wanted an answer. It would make for an easier night if I had just opened my mouth and told you what you wanted to hear. But I was frozen. Held captive by the ice in your eyes as you looked at me expectantly.

  Bringing your hand back up to your lips, you took a slow drag as you waited, your eyebrows raising along with your impatience. You reached your breaking point far sooner than I had expected.

  Your free hand grabbed a hold of my shoulder, pinning me against the wall on my stomach before you reached for my neck. Once there, you squeezed against me lightly. The aggressive way you handled me frightened me, just as much as it aroused me.

  “Do you really think it’s a good idea to continue to test me? Do me not think you’ve gotten yourself in enough trouble today?”

  Your fingers loosened your grip as you waited for me so speak. I could feel you hardening underneath my ass. Your hips were pressed firmly against me to keep me in place. The delicious sensation of it all making it difficult for me to suppress the smile, which threatened to form on my lips.

  “I’m sorry daddy,” I whined, grinding my ass deeper into your hips, My body was in wanton need of you. “I didn’t mean to make you mad, I just–you were gone for so long, and I missed you. Missed the way you feel… please forgive me daddy.”

  I hoped that you would take some pity at the thought of how I struggled in your absence.

  “Hmm… my poor little girl. I’m sorry to hear that, though you should know there are better ways of asking for my attention. Ones that don’t involve disrespecting me.”

  “I know daddy, but this way was much faster. And…well… effective.”

  The haughty laugh that escaped your lips made my lower lips quiver licentiously. The heat in my core burned with white light from the anticipation of what was to come.

  You moved your body, so you were level with my own. Your mouth bit down into the space where my shoulder and neck me. You sucked back the skin with your lips. Making sure to leave your mark.

  “Well princess, you’ve certainly got my attention,” you murmured deeply into my reddening skin.

  You dragged your teeth along the line of my neck up to my jaw. You kissed and sucked your way up to my lips. With my bottom lip between your teeth, one of your hands found my arse— a harsh slap rained down upon my cheek.

  “Careful what me wish for little bird. Upstairs. Now.”

  You pressed hard against my arse for a second more before you stepped back allowing me to move. You wanted me upstairs as quickly as possible. As I turned to look back at you, your stare alone was worth any number of the punishments you were conjuring up behind your cold and hard expression. I ran up the stairs without any further instruction, the anticipation over what was to come was tangibly evident between my heated legs.

  At the sound of your heavy footsteps behind me, I turned around, smiling devilishly coy at you. I walked up the stairs backwards, my eyes focussed upon you. I tripped a few times, which earned me a few small smirks and chuckles from your lips.

  You caught up to me rather quickly, your strong arms enveloping me with ease as you hoisted me up over your shoulder. I squealed with glee at your exuberance, as you threw me onto the grand bed. You sauntered across the room, dominating every inch of space. Then, you rested your body against the wardrobes, waiting for me to undress. You gave the command with a simple look in your eye, all in lieu of actual words.

  My hands made quick work of the dress buttons, knowing that teasing you would not be in my favour tonight… no matter how fun it would be. You turned away from me for a moment, putting music upon your phone to let some soft noise fill the room.

  I halted my movements in confusion, unsure of where you were going with the music. You had never done it before. My eyebrow was quirked up curiously when you turned around to face me once more.

  “I want to watch you princess. I want to watch you dance for me.”

  I looked at you in pure shock; the request that you made was so far deviated from any of your usual ones. You had never really seen me dance, you never seemed to show any interest in it for that matter.

  A sly grin formed on your lips as you walked towards the bottle of alcohol in the corner. You poured yourself a healthy glass of liquor before you moved to hand the glass over to me, gifting me your offering.

  “Some liquid courage little girl?” You teased, your eyes growing dark as your hands slipped around mine to grab the glass.

  I licked my lips before downing the drink without a second thought, desperate for some more to further ease my inhibitions.

  “Can I have another daddy?” I asked, my voice small and sweet.

  You nodded curtly as you moved to sit on the edge of the bed. I poured myself another liberal shot and tipped it back into my throat in one smooth motion.

  Despite how long I have known you, I never really got used to the taste of pure alcohol—finding the taste much to astringent for my own liking. I refilled your glass once more for you, before walking back over to the bed.

  You retook possession of the glass and settled in on the sheets, leaning back on your elbows and tilting your head for me to continue with your demand.

  “Go on little girl, start dancing.”

  Willing the alcohol to work its magic, I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. I felt like the room was spinning, though I weren’t sure if it was because of the alcohol or the embarrassment from the task at hand. My hips started to sway side to side as soon as you cleared your throat in annoyance, obviously having grown impatient with my stalling.

  I raised my arms above my head, turning my back to you. I twisted my waist, swaying my ass in your view. I could hear you manoeuvre behind me. With that, I craned my neck over my shoulder, watching as you licked your lips and palmed yourself through your trousers. Your eyes clouded with lust, your mouth practically drooling for me.

  “Take off the rest of your clothes, but keep dancing,” you muttered out absentmindedly, most of your attention focused on your throbbing cock that you was palming with your right hand while you tried to loosen your shirt collar and buttons with your left.

  With the rest of the buttons on my dress undone, I shrugged the fabric off my shoulders. The dress billowed around my ankles before I stepped completely out of it. I then untried my bra, shimmying out of my knickers. I threw my intimates to where you were upon the bed. It elicited a low growl which turned into a chuckle. I watched as you grabbed a hold of my panties, your fingers tracing along the lacy edges, inspecting the evidence of my desire for you left upon them.

  You commanded me to touch myself. Your eyes widened with amusement at the sight of how my cheeks blushed red. I could feel the wetness seeping out through my legs as I cupped and massaged my own breasts. Where once I felt nothing but embarrassment, I now felt erotic and sensual, the hungry look in your eyes spurring me on furthe
r.

  “Would you care to join me daddy?” I asked, my fingers trailing down to where I needed them most.

  Your eyes drank me in, but you made no move to get up or join me. I continued my dance as I waited, turning back around away from you as you seemed to contemplate your next move.

  “Come here,” you commanded, your voice sounding stronger than ever. “On your knees.”

  I blushed a deeper shade of red, but I did as I was told. I sunk to my knees, crawling on my hands towards you, swaying my ass slowly from side to side as you looked on ravenously. You removed your right hand from your groin and took off your shirt, before you moved to unbuckle your pants.

  When your cock was pulled, I found you were already leaking; the tip red and beading with your pearlescent pre-cum. My mouth opened as I reached you, the need to have you between my lips was completely overwhelming every thought in my mind.

  You collected your desire with the tip of your thumb and leaned forward on the bed to slip your thumb onto my tongue. I sucked on you ravenously, swirling my tongue around the tip of your thumb as if it were your cock. With your other hand, you finished off your untouched glass of alcohol, discarding the emptied tumbler onto the floor so you could harshly grab a hold of my hair.

  “I shouldn’t even let you touch me after the way you behaved this evening. I should be teaching you a lesson, but Christ, your mouth is just begging for it isn’t it? And you need this don’t you little one. Need daddy to give you some extra attention, eh?” Your voice and expression looked sweet and loving, your eyes and lips crinkling into a smile as you indulged me.

  Nodding enthusiastically, I hummed around your thumb. You swirled your digit around in my mouth as I did. I pulled your thumb out with a wet pop before I spoke.

  “Please daddy. Please let me–.”

  “Best get to work little girl, before I change my mind.”

  Leaning forward, I took your hot cock into my mouth, humming with assent at the slick feel of your velvet skin against my tongue. As my mouth closed around you, I could hear your breath hitch aggressively, your teeth holding back the guttural groan threatening to escape.